


i want love to be real, i want you to be near me

by sophiahelix



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M, Valentine's Day, fluff but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22738570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiahelix/pseuds/sophiahelix
Summary: “Did you get the gifts?” Javi asks. “I know, you are busy all day, you can’t text always.”He looks good, late as it is in Spain. Hair growing out a little, soft and curly, and after a year of rest he doesn’t look as tired as he used to. Yuzu wishes they could curl up together, his hands on Javi’s solid shoulders and his face buried in Javi’s neck, and not have this conversation.“I got your gifts,” he says.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 18
Kudos: 93





	i want love to be real, i want you to be near me

**Author's Note:**

> I kept thinking about how differently they’d each want to celebrate Valentine’s Day for the first time. (Also my brain is currently operating in a head canon where they’re dating because there’s no RL evidence against it at the moment, haha).
> 
> Title from Ezra Furman & the Harpooners’ “Mysterious Power”

The FaceTime notification on his iPod is still going off, resonant and demanding, when Yuzu gets out of his evening shower. He ties his blue fleece robe tighter, shakes a few last drops out of his hair, and answers.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Javi says, immediately, singsong and smiling.

“Hey,” Yuzu says. “Uh, you too.”

There’s a pause.

“Did you get the gifts?” Javi asks. “I know, you are busy all day, you can’t text always.”

He looks good, late as it is in Spain. Hair growing out a little, soft and curly, and after a year of rest he doesn’t look as tired as he used to. Yuzu wishes they could curl up together, his hands on Javi’s solid shoulders and his face buried in Javi’s neck, and not have this conversation.

“I got your gifts,” he says.

“Both places?” Javi asks. “I know they sort the things people are sending you at the club, but I thought, if it’s from me...”

“Yeah, I got them,” Yuzu says. “Thank you,” he adds, flashing a quick smile.

Javi smiles back, but it looks frozen, unsure. He blinks. “Good. You’re welcome.” He hesitates, and then asks, “Which one was your favorite?”

“Oh, uh,” Yuzu says, and thinks. There were so _many_. “The little one, the keychain.” That’s the truth, and he looks around for his backpack to hold it up, showing the yellow stuffed bear hanging from the zipper. He smiles, more genuine than before. “So now Pooh can come everywhere with me.”

“Good,” Javi says again, and now he sounds more comfortable too. “I had so much fun when I was choosing them all, I didn’t know how many kinds of Pooh bears there are.”

“Lots,” Yuzu says, heavily. “Lots and lots.” He pauses, then remembers. “I was sending you text this morning, before training. You got it?”

“Oh, yeah,” Javi says. “Bees, that’s cute. I didn’t know that Valentine is also the saint of bees.”

“And beekeepers,” Yuzu says.

“I guess that’s why he is the saint of bees and of love,” Javi says. “Both are sweet.”

“Love is not just sweet,” Yuzu says, seriously. “And bees work very hard.”

“But they’re still cute,” Javi says, with a sidelong grin, raising his eyebrow.

Yuzu lets out a soft snort of laughter, and then decides to say it. “You know...I giving away all my Poohs, from competitions, for reason.”

Javi’s grin fades, and he looks stricken. “Oh. I’m sorry, I thought — you don’t like Pooh anymore?”

“I like Pooh,” Yuzu says quickly. “But I have..._everything_ Pooh. When I was more young, our house full of Poohs, from fans. So many that my mother say, we can’t keeping all. Only most special.” He picks up the backpack again, squeezing the small keychain. “This is special. This I’m keeping.”

Javi presses his lips together, and he still looks a little hurt, but he nods. “OK. I should have remembered. I just — I got excited, you know? Our first Valentine’s Day. I wanted to show you how I feel.” 

He sounds a little wistful, and Yuzu feels a pang. If they’re being honest — 

“You want — more than text from me, right? I’m sorry, maybe I make mistake too.”

“It’s fine,” Javi says. “Well, maybe more. But I’m most sad that I can’t post something about it. About us.”

They look at each other for a moment, and across the miles Yuzu feels it, the same regret they both share. It’s the reality of their situation, but he wishes as much as Javi does that it could be different, if for his own reasons. Not for Instagram posts, but all the parts of his life that could be better, more honest, more real.

Or maybe they have the same reasons. He knows Javi just wants to love the way that feels right to him, proud and open. They’d both be happier in a world where he could make one of his sweet, sappy posts, the kind Yuzu’s seen so often from him before. He aches for that life, and for the fact that he doesn’t know when they’ll have it, if ever.

“Me too,” Yuzu says finally. “Someday. You can make it with only emojis,” he adds, lighter, because he’s always teasing Javi about how many emojis he uses.

“Yeah,” Javi says, his voice hoarse and low, full of meaning. He clears his throat, straightening up against his headboard. “OK. It’s late here. I just wanted to talk to you today, and say that I love you.” There’s a fraction of a pause, and then he says, “I can’t wait to see the new costume, you should send me pictures when you get them.”

It’s only been a few months, but Yuzu’s noticed Javi always does this, hurries to fill the silence after he says “I love you” so there’s no pressure for Yuzu to say it back. It’s not that Yuzu hasn’t already said it — once, right at the start back in September — but he appreciates the space, the way that Javi knows what’s easy for him might not be for Yuzu.

Or maybe, Yuzu thinks for the first time, Javi’s just worried that Yuzu won’t say it at all. He’s so used to Javi being the mature, stable one, with quick-flaring emotions just as quickly resolved, that it’s strange to think of him holding back, protecting himself. There’s give and take between them, but it’s always a surprise to find himself in the position to be generous.

He can be tonight, he thinks, and maybe that means as much as a public post. Yuzu takes a breath. “You should sleep,” he says. He holds up the keychain, making it wave, and raises his voice to a higher pitch, speaking in the bear’s voice. “I love you. Good night.”

Javi blinks hard, eyelashes fluttering, and his smile is tremulous and then broad, lighting up his face. “I love you too,” he says, and lifts a hand, like he could touch Yuzu across the ocean. “Sleep well. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Yuzu bobs his head, a brief bow, grinning. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: sophia-helix


End file.
